Charlotte's Journey

Somehow in the midst of it all, today I think I snapped 2 of what will become a couple of Brian and I’s favorite pictures. So I wanted to share them. 1. Last night at the swim team banquet celebration, one of our village members arranged for everyone to have rainbow leis and displayed these balloons with a sweet poster cheering on Charlotte. Look at our girl enjoying them this morning. Somehow her spirit parts all the storm clouds. 2. She is not feeling any side effects from this new chemo yet and this evening was perfect weather so Brian and I thought...why not! (She can be deaccessed daily if we want—have her “tubies” removed and replaced the next day which surprisingly does not cause Charlotte any stress at all to be accessed now. She is totally use to it as long as they use a numbing spray and count to 3 before they insert the needle into her port. She’s incredible in this way as most children cry and scream) Soooo we finally got our on R Happy Place tonight for a dinner cruise ...

Round 2 chemo began today (coinciding with radiation). Although we are so grateful she can do this outpatient, it is so hard to watch this poison be administered to our baby girl again. It’s so hard to build her up only to knock her back down again and again. And there is cruelty in the necessary consent paperwork. How many times must we review the side effects that play at our worst fears? Short term common side effects are manageable, but the potential long term side effects are terrifying. Today the doctor made a point to pause over the secondary cancer side effect because one of these chemotherapies has been directly linked to causing leukemia in patients. I simply stare at them. I grab the pen and sign my name. It’s cruel because what other choice do we have? We still find it hard to believe there is a tiny, less then 2cm spot on her femur, and she’s been in such good health with nothing else abnormal on any scan in almost 3 years, yet we have to go to these extreme measures to e...

The pictures say it all. Charlotte was beaming with pride. Today was her turn. Her first day of Kindergarten and riding the bus was icing on the cake as she has wanted this for so long! And her teacher made today crazy hat day to boot🥰 “Best. Day. Ever.” And there goes our heart #charlottestrong #charlotterocks

Somewhere, in Apex NC, there is a 5 year old little girl named Nori, who we had never met before today, who ran off skipping across the playground today while Charlotte and I stopped by her Kindergarten class this morning to visit in preparation for Charlotte starting school. Charlotte, who clung to my leg, and had a hard time speaking and making eye contact with anyone while she was there, felt shy, timid, and very uncertain after all that has happened to her within the past few weeks. And then came Nori. Nori gathered a little bouquet of wild flowers in her little hands and came running over to where Charlotte and I stood during their recess. “Here! I picked these for you.” She was like a breeze that blew the clouds away from hiding the sun. Charlotte’s eyes lifted just for a moment and a small smile arose on her face. The face she seems to not recognize lately. She quietly said thank you, and off Nori skipped. Off to her day. Off to play. Will she ever know how much Charlotte and h...

Home Sweet Home. We are thanking God for this answered prayer. She gets a week to recover before round 2 of chemo, but will still need to go into Duke Children’s daily for radiation. The radiation she requires is to such a small area of her thigh that the process is super fast. The 1 hour round trip driving is the long part. But she is here, home, and we are basking in this moment back all together. There is no place like home. 3 amigos Her buddy Playing with Grandma. Thanks to my mom for being here with us this week❤️

Those of you who may have never met me along with those who know me best can attest by now I am rarely speechless. But today, I am kind of speechless. Today was the first full day of Kindergarten for Kindergarteners at Olive Chapel Elementary (last week was staggard entry where the little ones came one day assigned to them for a partial day). Since Charlotte couldn’t be at her first official day of school today, the school showed their love by asking everyone to come wearing rainbows. They had teachers and staff and students where rainbow colored shirts, tattoos, stickers, and rainbow ribbons. The world was shining rainbows across my phone today as we received pictures and messages from twitter and various friends at school. She beamed. I’m not sure what she initially thought, but then when she saw her fellow team mates on our swim team adorn rainbow tattoos and the words #CRSTRONG across their backs at the final meet today, she smiled and giggled “Charlotte Strong!” That’s right bab...

Although Charlotte wasn’t ready to go home this weekend like we hoped, we still managed to get in some good, quality family time together. And isn’t that the best medicine? We took a walk to the Sara B Duke Gardens Friday night for a family picnic, then back to her room for play and movie cuddles. Saturday evening, kids came briefly for a visit and dinner in her room all together while Brian and I switched off. Taylor and Parker took me home and took care of me...putting me to bed early and making me coffee and breakfast in bed today complete with an in bed board game snuggle fest, all the while Brian got some sweet quality time with Charlotte for sleepover and Sunday. Today, Taylor and I even went to see a movie just the two of us (Parker at a friends birthday). All of it was chicken soup for our souls. But tonight when Charlotte and I walked Brian and Taylor to the elevators, she watched them go. She looked at me with those eyes and said in her sweet small voice “I wish I could go wi...