Our fighter back in the hospital doing what she does best: fighting to get better and being cute at it

Unfortunately, even if we wrap Charlotte in bubble wrap, she is still likely to be hospitalized for a fever during this part of her recovery from chemo. Although her white cell counts were still good on Friday, they plummeted today and she spiked a fever this morning. She had been feeling so good this weekend we hoped we might skate on by this round. But we are old pros at this by now. Brian brought her in and she has been admitted. Even though this is expected, we hope every time that she will breeze on through and not need to be admitted during recovery. Her red cell counts are also very low and unfortunately during her blood transfusion today she began shaking. She often gets these shakes when a very high fever spikes, but in order to rule out a reaction to the blood, they stopped the transfusion. She is stable and fever is back down to manageable. The tests that were run ruled out a reaction to the blood and so we are now as to receive a new blood transfusion. Once she wakes in the morning with some fresh blood cells and hopefully a lower temp, she should be feeling much better. Of course we will remain hospitalized until her white cell counts are at an acceptable level which usually takes several days. But she is where she needs to be to rest and recover.

So, for now we pray it's just a typical neutropenic fever and that all cultures come back negative for infection. I got time with Taylor and Parker today anticipating the long stay this week. When I finished getting everything ready at home for the week and started packing to come relieve Brian at the hospital so he could get home and get ready for his work week (he should be a professional juggler. For real), a friend and neighbor dropped by bags of groceries for the week, including a meal for tonight so we didn't have to worry about dinner. Then a set of grandparents, Schuey and Neal, who had just gotten back from a vacation only yesterday, walked in the door ready to help with Taylor and Parker and whatever we would need this week so I could focus on Charlotte and Brian could work. There are meal deliveries scheduled for MWF this week. All of this without Brian or I asking for help. Needs anticipated before we even know what they are...it's remarkable. I saw a package had been delivered yesterday and I opened it...a friend sent several twirly-girly dresses for Charlotte who insists on only wearing dresses at the moment (don't even get me started on the hospital gown idea which is evidently appalling to her lol. Only cute night gowns will do! Lol!) We are at a loss for words (which coming from me speaks volumes because I like to talk). We have so much support and love. We are so humbled. I have tears writing this as I lay here next to my baby girl who is burning up and feeling so crappy, but these tears aren't because I wish we were home and she wasn't going through this again (though I do). These tears are because I am so over come with emotion and feel so humbled and gratful for all of you. There are no words to express this at this time but I'm working on figuring them out. Our family continues to feel you all lift us up and many of you reach out with impeccable timing that you couldn't have planned if you tried. When we start feeling low, down, tired, overwhelmed, or sinply need to connect with another caring human being in some way...there you are. Whether it's a chat, a walk, an encouraging hug, a smile and a funny story, a text message, an email, a phone call just to ask how we are or to chat and lighten our spirits, letters and cards to our older children who often take a back seat when Charlotte has needs, an invitation to have dinner or drinks or something fun and social out with people!!, meals and help around the house so we can spend what little time we have actually all together as a family focusing on each other and our older kids who we sometime feel just get the left overs from us at times....the list goes on and on. From the bottom of our hearts, Brian and I say THANK YOU. We could never repay your kindess. But we know you don't do these acts of love and kindness for our graditude. It's because we have surrounded ourselves with amazing people whose compassion  restore our faith this crazy world.

Brian and I have realized that God is working through you all just like he is working through us as we walk this road with Charlotte. Today, 3 separate people in 3 different parts of the country sent us pictures of the Rainbow they were looking at. To me, when I needed it, God sent us 3 rainbow winks. Watching our baby girl shake from fever and ache all over, canceling our Sunday plans to seperate as a family yet again...well, Brian and I could of used a rainbow from above. But we didn't see one today. Instead we got to see 3. And I think they were meant for us. They said "I am here. She will be ok. You will all be ok. Do not fear. Trust. Breath." And I could feel the calm. God's grace and love is sometimes directly felt, but now it is also indirectly felt and communicated by our amazing village. We don't know where we would be or what our world would look like right now, without you.