Finding a reason to smile

There is a family here (again) who was here during our first transplant. They have a 5 year old boy who is being treated for an immune disorder and received his bone marrow transplant a few weeks before Charlotte's first transplant back in September. They are from Florida. The little boys parents took turns being here with him for his transplant, taking turns here and in a hotel, leaving their 13 year old daughter home with family. The mother was very pregnant with their 3rd child. When I met them all I could think was  "WOW. It must be so hard to be so far away from their daughter for so long and so far from home, family and friends. They have no one near to help them. And missing work for this long?! And I don't know how she's doing this as pregnant as she is! How can she sleep on this bench they have built into the room for a parent. We are so blessed. When I feel down or feel like we have a tough road, there is always someone else whose road seems harder." Those were my thoughts.

Charlotte and this little boy became very friendly during transplant 1. He was a huge source of comfort to our Charlotte during the first transplant. I think he reminded her of Parker. And he loved to check in on Charlotte in his playful 5 year old way. It was really cute. We saw this family many times during out patient clinic appointments. Then, one day, they came with a tiny baby. She delivered! They had a second son. So when we came back for our second transplant a few weeks ago, I was surprised to find them back here. Unfortunately he is have some complications from his bone marrow transplant, but they are common issues and he is receiving care to get better. However, watching this family juggle the newborn and switching off to be here with their older son was heartbreaking. I kept thinking "how are they doing this?!" And then one day I saw the dad with his newborn wrapped up in his arms leaving the unit. He explained that he was taking the baby home to Florida while his wife stayed here to care for their son. He needed to get back to work. And again, all I could think was "OMG I cannot imagine! This mom has to leave her newborn baby so she can care for her very sick son who has a life threatening condition in which he is having complications from and now she'll be seperated from her baby?! And this dad, who has care worn written all over his face, will go home without half of his family to care for his daughter and newborn and work full time?! Just when I want to hang my head and cry about our own circumstances...here is this family who is showing me my own blessings." And I prayed for them extra hard, hoping God would guide them through this impossible time. Praying God would help their son get better so they could all be reunited soon.

Today, this same mom stopped me in my tracks in the laundry room when, in passing, she asked about how Charlotte was.  We talked a little about how each of ours was feeling and some polite chit chat. She then proceeded to tell me how she was having an emotional time due to their own circumstances, but when she felt like she was hitting rock bottom, Charlotte entered the unit again. For a second transplant. And after learning a little of Charlotte's road, and future road, she felt like she was being reminded of her own blessings. She felt like I did only she saw our circumstances as sobering to her own! To her, we are the ones who have a tougher road. She couldn't imagine doing this twice and along with the rest of Charlotte's protocol we had shared with her before, our circumstances helped her own perspective. We shined a light for her! I empathized and listened to her, but inwardly I was smiling ear to ear. This is another example of how God works through us for others. I love the notion that we help lift others above their own sorrow. She didn't know it, but she did the same for me. Why is it that in others suffering, we are sometimes only then able to fully appreciate our own blessings? I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is a strange and unique club here. A club no one wants to belong to. A club you don't even know how you joined. But instead of misery loves company here, we just might help one another embrace our own unique challenges and meet them head on with a little more grace then we could have done alone. I like to believe this.  I have learned, in so many ways, that we are never alone in our struggles. God wants us to feel connected. We are his children, we are all family. And in watching these children here endure what they are while still trying to just be a kid, they remind us that there is ALWAYS a reason to smile. We just have to find it.