An unimaginable gift

There is a little boy who sits up coloring, paying the closest attention to fine details while slowly honing his fine motor skills as he becomes quite the color master artist extrodinaire. He smiles a playful smile while flirting with his nurses that he calls his girlfriends. He doesn't know that the doctors have told his parents that they have done all that they can and all they can do now is keep him comfortable.  He doesn't know there is an invasive infection overcoming his lungs and that his medical team has run out of ideas as to how to help him recover. All he knows is that he is surrounded by loving and caring people. He knows no fear or worry. But his parents have reported there is little hope now. They need a miracle to save their son. They believe it may be time to start saying their goodbyes and to help their daughter in this process as well. But as I write this post to help pool together all of our collective prayers, Austin is still here. Still awake and alert and playful when able. This is when miracles can happen. God IS in the business of miracles! I believe. I knelt today and prayed for God to pluck Austin out to save. Please continue to pray for him and his family as they face the unimaginable.

One of our nurses we are close to messaged me today to ask how Charlotte's trip to CHOP went. She was just checking in. I was so grateful to hear from her. I think she needed to hear Charlotte was okay. The nurses in 5200 are trying to hold it together, but they have a very deep and special bond with Austin. He is just that kind of kid. As I have written before, Charlotte and Austin seemed to have a special bond as well. This nurse told me that she made Austin and his family a couple pins with Charlotte in her Wonder Woman costume and another pin with the two of them riding bikes while in the unit together. This brought him some happiness. She said he looked at the pins and said "Oh I love her." When this nurse told me about this exchange, I think I crumbled into a million pieces. Thank God Charlotte was napping and the others were in school. But I was happy to hear he was this interactive because at the time I didn't know what his state was. So I sent his mother a couple fun pictures and a video with the hopes that Charlotte could bring Austin some joy, any joy, from afar. We may feel helpless but our prayers are powerful and they are heard. This much I have learned. I will keep believing he can overcome. But I also know Gods will and plan cannot always be understood by us. And this is where the most impressive and inspirational part of the story lies: Austin's mother wrote this today:

"Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come.."
"The words to this are being claimed now. even in the depths of not knowing the true impact this is going to take, He has a reason for all things. as a parent we may never understand why, but are desperately holding onto the fact that He is STILL GOOD and STILL FAITHFUL and He alone KNOWS this pain of watching a child suffer. Our life will likely fall apart for a time but God we still trust in you."

They are finding beauty and love and grace and serenity in what might be the last moments of their little boys life. While many could feel anguish, pain, fear and anger, and I'm sure they do in many ways, these are not the prevailing feelings. They are being showered with God given grace and peace and calm so that they can enjoy whatever time they all have together. Those are the emotions that they are feeding. The emotions we feed are the ones that can grow and ultimately win. And I am blown away and humbled at witnessing this. We can never know how or why certain people cross our paths or come into our lives, but this much is true: me and my family will forever be changed by witnessing the journey of this family at this time. Austin was a gift to Charlotte during her transplants, and he will continue to give his gifts for the rest of our lives whether or not he is here or his journey has continued beyond our understanding. God bless this family. God please continue to hold Austin and help us see your love for this special boy.