Taking a breath
I had a completely different update written yesterday but then as I was sitting at MSK in clinic next to Charlotte as we were waiting for shot 3 of 7 after the 3rd week in a row of driving up to NYC from NC, I changed my mind. Here, pictured below, is Charlotte for the first time she’s ever come out anywhere without bringing her hat. I see confidence. I see a little girl who may wish to be anywhere else, but is doing ALL of everything asked of her. No hat, no filter, extra sprinkles❤️🌈☺️
We have a 4 week break until she needs to return for shot 4! Getting into the car to drive back up there on Monday was brutal. Neither of us could muster up our positive attitude that we try to harness so badly when needed. Charlotte looked at me with tears in her eyes and said “mom? Why is my life so hard?” What could I say to that? Our sweet girl has lived through so much pain and fear along with all the joy and hope. Everything making her who she is. Everything an ingredient in her own special self. And that is the case for us all isn’t it. We know we are not alone over here in facing hard days. But there are certainly many blessings mixed within and THOSE are often the fuel that helps carry us onward. To muster up the reserves needed for another trip back to NYC so soon, we tried to remember that Charlotte’s in the place where we hoped and prayed she would be back when June scans revealed her cancer had returned. And all of this is to help maintain her status of being clear. So, we buckled up with car activities and snacks galore, turned on our tunes to jam too, put on our sun glasses, and drove. And drove. And drove some more....thankfully it was a successful trip up and now back! God is so good, and on the move even when we can’t see Him. Sometimes just putting your next foot forward is all you can do as we keep trying to move towards our hopes. One day at a time.
These are hard days for everyone. I’m not sure what our kids will remember about this time in their lives, where everything shut down and the entire world seemed to pause, and how we had to go and begin this maintenance treatment in the epicenter of a pandemic, but when the dust settles, Brian and I hope they remember nights like last Saturday night— when we had a light hearted and goofy time outside all together playing a game our kids called “Man Hunt”. How we were all running around and hiding where each team tried to get to “base” (aka our garage) without being tagged, with our puppy on a leash jumping and pulling their mom who was laughing. The music on and a fire pit with s’mores, and a dad guarding the “base” or hiding along with his team. Laughing and being silly amid all the chaos and uncertainty. May we all find the simple childhood joys whenever we can amid it all. We just NEED to. Maybe tomorrow will be a hard day. But today is a gift. And I suppose that is what I want them to remember and learn from all of this. Times can and will be tough, but our spirits are tougher❤️🌈
We have a 4 week break until she needs to return for shot 4! Getting into the car to drive back up there on Monday was brutal. Neither of us could muster up our positive attitude that we try to harness so badly when needed. Charlotte looked at me with tears in her eyes and said “mom? Why is my life so hard?” What could I say to that? Our sweet girl has lived through so much pain and fear along with all the joy and hope. Everything making her who she is. Everything an ingredient in her own special self. And that is the case for us all isn’t it. We know we are not alone over here in facing hard days. But there are certainly many blessings mixed within and THOSE are often the fuel that helps carry us onward. To muster up the reserves needed for another trip back to NYC so soon, we tried to remember that Charlotte’s in the place where we hoped and prayed she would be back when June scans revealed her cancer had returned. And all of this is to help maintain her status of being clear. So, we buckled up with car activities and snacks galore, turned on our tunes to jam too, put on our sun glasses, and drove. And drove. And drove some more....thankfully it was a successful trip up and now back! God is so good, and on the move even when we can’t see Him. Sometimes just putting your next foot forward is all you can do as we keep trying to move towards our hopes. One day at a time.
These are hard days for everyone. I’m not sure what our kids will remember about this time in their lives, where everything shut down and the entire world seemed to pause, and how we had to go and begin this maintenance treatment in the epicenter of a pandemic, but when the dust settles, Brian and I hope they remember nights like last Saturday night— when we had a light hearted and goofy time outside all together playing a game our kids called “Man Hunt”. How we were all running around and hiding where each team tried to get to “base” (aka our garage) without being tagged, with our puppy on a leash jumping and pulling their mom who was laughing. The music on and a fire pit with s’mores, and a dad guarding the “base” or hiding along with his team. Laughing and being silly amid all the chaos and uncertainty. May we all find the simple childhood joys whenever we can amid it all. We just NEED to. Maybe tomorrow will be a hard day. But today is a gift. And I suppose that is what I want them to remember and learn from all of this. Times can and will be tough, but our spirits are tougher❤️🌈
A little over 8 hours up and about 8 hours back😅Doable but so long and yet our sweet girl is such a warrior. After the initial tears, her strong spirit persists and we end up making the best out of it
We usually try to only stop ONCE! At that stop we gas up and take a bathroom break and maybe hit up a drive through for something....Charlotte discovered Burger King has mozzarella sticks and she LOVES them! She tanked 10 of them on the drive up!
Simple times at home can be the best times. Pre Man Hunt s’mores😂
The kids are sure missing their friends, school, and their activities, but we are truly trying to take the breath that all the shut downs are causing.
Jennifer, You and Charlotte as well as your whole family are shining examples to all of us, as to how to live a wonderful Christian and positive life! XXOO God Bless you, and I hope you enjoy these next 4 weeks of rest from all the travel and unpleasant shots for Charlotte!
ReplyDelete