Little encounters

By jenrvball - January 07, 2018

I have so many half written pieces...but I think sometimes, when something strikes me and I need to just sit down and write, I get into this tunnel vision mode and I write and write. I guess I had so much more time for that when we were hospitalized on and off over that year and a half. Life pausedin a strange way during inpatient treatments. There was more quiet time. Time for reflection. Time and space for me to listen, really listen and hear and feel. That’s when those strange moments of peace and clarity could hit. God could reach me because I was still. And I was wanting. Needing. I was inviting him during those times. Or maybe we were at home but it was late at night, my mind racing and words could pour out about what we were witnessing and what Charlotte was going through. Anyone who has followed this page since the start could see how it began as matter of fact updates about Charlotte to worried parents trying to rally the troops for prayers to shared moments of amazing grace that we witnessed. It’s all here on this page. So now that life has sort of begun to reform again with our “normal” lives home taking shape again, life’s busy day to days this and that are restored, I suppose I’m finding less time to write in entirety. Little blips here and there undone. “Oh, I’ll get back to that thought” I usually say to myself. And I hope, I really hope I do. Because you all...there are some amazing things I have to capture for our girl. For our family. For anyone who has been touched and reached by Charlotte and this place you come to visit and read. For now, I am sitting, literally sitting on the edge of my bath tub to write this little piece below because these are the things that are slipping through our cracks to record here often times. And I don’t want to glaze over or forget or get too busy to recognize when we have a true encounter with God.

Jan 7 mid afternoon: The children are all upstairs playing quietly. Taylor and Parker started a video game and Charlotte grabbed paper and markers and various crafts to do at their feet. I’m cooking in the kitchen. Brian is home doing this and that around the house, when we hear Charlotte calling.

“Mommy! Daddy!”
Brian finds her. She’s holding several tiny post it notes in her little hands that she dobbed with these different colored markers
Charlotte: “Daddy, could you put these pictures on your bed and save theme for me.”
Brian: “Sure”
Charlotte: “they are really special to me.”
Brian: “of course sweetie”
Charlotte: “when I die a long time from now, I want to give them to God.”
Brian: “that's very nice of you to think about that. We can save them for a long time from now.”
Charlotte: “you'll save them? For a long time from now. Cause I want to give them to God because he gives us rainbows all the time and I want to give him some.”
Brian: tearing up..... “you are so thoughtful. Can I have a hug?”
Charlotte: “sure can.”

And so we have a pile of handmade rainbow post it’s that Charlotte made to give God. She told me, when I asked her about them, that she wants to give God some rainbows too just like he gives us. But that’s a long time from now when it’s her turn to go to heaven. And, naturally, I found a quiet place to have a little cry. And to reflect on what it is to have a little encounter with God and his love through the eyes and mouth of our Charlotte. I have always thought, and even now more so believe, children have such a special relationship with Jesus and God. I hope this new year is filled with little moments that help us all pause and recognize his love and precense all around and within us .

Snow day fun