24 days
Jax passed away this morning.
“Apple Jax” turned 3 year’s old just 2 days before Charlotte’s birthday on October 16. 10 Days later, they learned his cancer had returned, a large mass growing in his abdomen. Within a few days they learned it was so aggressive, it had gone into his liver, rendering it beyond repair. They sought out treatment options only to learn there was none. They brought Jax home on hospice care. His dad wrote me a few days ago that Jax stopped eating as the tumor was pressing into his stomach and that he was slowly refusing even to drink. He said they “are holding on to hope but preparing for the worst.” He died today, 24 days after learning his cancer had returned.
Just like us, 24 days ago after just celebrating another birthday and thanking God for that, they had begun planning for Halloween and Thanksgiving and probably Christmas. They were working as he played with his friends and teachers in daycare. 24 Days. They found his cancer came back with vengeance and they had 24 more days with their little boy, their only son, their whole world.
It’s typical we lower our heads with sadness and say things like “another angel got their wings”, or maybe “he’s in a better place now” when really we all know he should be here with his mommy and daddy growing up. He fought cancer basically his entire life and I’m not sure there could ever be comfort in that. What he went through just to be here only to have the rug pulled out. How can this be? How could he be vibrant and alive, having a 3rd birthday at home with his family, learning and playing, and then...in 24 days he is gone. 24 days. And the suffering of his parents, unimaginable suffering to be told there is nothing that can be done and they had to take their baby boy home and watch him die. To say our hearts break for this family is an understatement. To say that we don’t see our baby girl in every single child with this disease would be a lie. God knows I am angry. God knows I am scared. And God knows I am a complete and utter work in progress, learning to trust and believe and I do, I really do. How could any of us have witnessed what we have and not. I feel him here with us at every turn and I feel his invisible guidance. I want to wash Jax’s parents in this faith, this nearly impossible faith that is asked of parents who are trying to do their best where they have no true control. May God wrap his arms around them and guide them through this.
I’m sorry our prayers were not answered in the way we wanted for Jax. I’m feeling my way just like we all are in whatever our own circumstances are. And I believe God loves us through it and inspite of it. I wanted to post some joyous stories and pictures/videos about some special times our Charlotte and family has just gotten to enjoy but upon organizing that I received the message that Jax passed on. And so our world and hopes pause for this moment in time as we pray for this family and their baby boy who will forever be 3. Thank you village for adding them to your hearts and raising them up.
“Apple Jax” turned 3 year’s old just 2 days before Charlotte’s birthday on October 16. 10 Days later, they learned his cancer had returned, a large mass growing in his abdomen. Within a few days they learned it was so aggressive, it had gone into his liver, rendering it beyond repair. They sought out treatment options only to learn there was none. They brought Jax home on hospice care. His dad wrote me a few days ago that Jax stopped eating as the tumor was pressing into his stomach and that he was slowly refusing even to drink. He said they “are holding on to hope but preparing for the worst.” He died today, 24 days after learning his cancer had returned.
Just like us, 24 days ago after just celebrating another birthday and thanking God for that, they had begun planning for Halloween and Thanksgiving and probably Christmas. They were working as he played with his friends and teachers in daycare. 24 Days. They found his cancer came back with vengeance and they had 24 more days with their little boy, their only son, their whole world.
It’s typical we lower our heads with sadness and say things like “another angel got their wings”, or maybe “he’s in a better place now” when really we all know he should be here with his mommy and daddy growing up. He fought cancer basically his entire life and I’m not sure there could ever be comfort in that. What he went through just to be here only to have the rug pulled out. How can this be? How could he be vibrant and alive, having a 3rd birthday at home with his family, learning and playing, and then...in 24 days he is gone. 24 days. And the suffering of his parents, unimaginable suffering to be told there is nothing that can be done and they had to take their baby boy home and watch him die. To say our hearts break for this family is an understatement. To say that we don’t see our baby girl in every single child with this disease would be a lie. God knows I am angry. God knows I am scared. And God knows I am a complete and utter work in progress, learning to trust and believe and I do, I really do. How could any of us have witnessed what we have and not. I feel him here with us at every turn and I feel his invisible guidance. I want to wash Jax’s parents in this faith, this nearly impossible faith that is asked of parents who are trying to do their best where they have no true control. May God wrap his arms around them and guide them through this.
I’m sorry our prayers were not answered in the way we wanted for Jax. I’m feeling my way just like we all are in whatever our own circumstances are. And I believe God loves us through it and inspite of it. I wanted to post some joyous stories and pictures/videos about some special times our Charlotte and family has just gotten to enjoy but upon organizing that I received the message that Jax passed on. And so our world and hopes pause for this moment in time as we pray for this family and their baby boy who will forever be 3. Thank you village for adding them to your hearts and raising them up.
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